Yahrzeit – Making Space for Memories of a Loved One

Why is Yahrzeit such a meaningful tradition to me?

It’s a time-honoured Jewish practice. The word Yahrzeit (for which there are numerous spelling options) comes from the Yiddish word for anniversary. Typically, it encourages us to honour the memory of a parent or loved one by lighting a candle at home, and/or having their names called out in the synagogue before reciting the Kaddish. Solel reminds members of their upcoming family Yahrzeits based on the Jewish calendar anniversary date of when the deceased passed away.

It’s a way of experiencing and expressing solidarity. At Solel, after mourners are invited to rise, there is a poignant moment when they— whether attending in person or via livestream—get to feel the support of our community when congregants rise in solidarity. We also get to express solidarity with previous generations by reciting kaddish in memory of those who no longer have survivors to say kaddish for them.

It’s a way to keep memory alive. When I lived with my parents, I learned something more about each of my grandparents when their Yahrzeits triggered family discussions. I learned over Yahrzeit, for instance, that my grandfather Isidor Lewsen was president of his synagogue in Johannesburg just as I am president of mine. In the same way, I have had regular opportunities to share memories and family anecdotes with my children about my parents and loved ones. Over Yahrzeits I have shared with my children anecdotes about my father’s love of contemporary art, my mother’s passion for classical music, my great-aunt’s life in Montreal, and my and my uncle’s late-life career as a water diviner; he had a remarkable ability to find underground water using nothing by a Y-shaped stick. This is how memories are passed from generation to generation.

I have always cherished the tradition of Yahrzeit as a recurring annual opportunity to reflect on the memory of a loved one. I do this via my own contemplations. I do this by sharing and discussing family memories. And Brenda and I do this by hosting or co-hosting onegs for our community. When we joined Solel in the late ’90s, barely a week went by without somebody sponsoring the Oneg in honour of a departed loved one. This tradition has lapsed somewhat post-pandemic. It’s due for a revival.

As a Jewish community, we celebrate Yahrzeit for ourselves and each other. I ask that next time you receive a notification of an upcoming Yahrzeit, please consider calling the office to discuss either hosting or co-sponsoring the Oneg.

John

Filed under: President's Message

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